There are Slytherins and there are Slytherins
by magfrump
Summary: Dudley turns out to be a wizard! After a bit of stress, he decides that there are Slytherins, and then there are Slytherins.
1. The Glass

The glass was back.  
Dudley didn't understand it.  
He didn't understand it and he wouldn't stand for it.  
The glass would disappear again, THIS INSTANT.  
Before he knew it he was back in Harry's face, wailing on him like he hadn't in years, filled with rage and terror and confusion.  
And for the first time in years Harry was properly scared too. Not of the blows. The smug grin had been wiped off his face the second Dudley had come streaking out of the snake's cage.  
And Harry wasn't the only one whose expression had changed in that fateful moment.  
Dudley could feel it coming on this time. Not like the fakes earlier he'd used in front of Piers.  
"Dad?" he whimpered, slowly standing and turning.  
"Mummy?"


	2. The Letter

Vernon and Petunia would have been much less accommodating if it had only been Harry's name on the letter.  
"Now see here, he's gotten in to Smeltings Academy, and that's the best-"  
"Ahem." The tall, stern Scottish woman silenced him with a glance. Petunia had been scared stiff the entire time.  
"I think you'll appreciate, Mister Dursley, that your son has talents which Smeltings will not be prepared to help him with."  
Vernon gulped. Breathed, and spoke again. "Nothing, n-nothing a good caning can't work out of him."  
Dudley whimpered, and Vernon cringed. The thought of taking a cane to his little Dudders! But Dudley was a young man now and needed to learn that men stick to their guns.  
"I would be honored to be the one to disabuse you of that notion, sir, but as it is I have a schedule to keep. I'll be taking Dudley and Harry to Diagon Alley; you'd best come to terms with it."  
The Dursleys shifted uncomfortably.  
Minerva sighed.


	3. The Train Station

Vernon was having quite a shouting match with the attendant when Harry wandered off toward a family of redheads.  
"Mum, mum! Look what Harry's doing!"  
The family looked nervously after Dudley's pointed finger, and then both adult Dursleys groaned deeply. Dudley looked back to his mum and pa, and noticed the attendant rolling his eyes and sneaking off.  
"WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED?!" Vernon bellowed, stomping in the direction Harry had gone.  
Dudley turned back. The family was gone, and Harry was running his luggage straight into, and straight through?, the dividing pillar between platforms nine and ten.  
A noise came out of Mister Dursley as though he knew he should be yelling, but hadn't yet decided what it was that he should be yelling about.  
Petunia walked a bit more calmly to his side.  
"Now little duddykins." Dudley thanked the stars that Piers wasn't around for this. "Be brave for mummy, okay?"  
Dudley nodded.  
Vernon ambled over. "You're going to be a much better wizard than that cousin of yours." He grimaced and nodded, and ruffled Dudley's hair a bit, finally managing to overpower his shame with pride.  
Then Vernon's face lit up.  
"And you ask them, Dudders, if any of those wizards need any drills."  
Dudley nodded, and just tried to stop crying before he ran his luggage into what surely would be his death.  
"Brilliant thought that was, if I do say so myself. If I corner the wizarding market I'm sure to get a promotion."  
"Yes, dear." Petunia tried to silence the involuntary roll of her eyes.


	4. The Train

"It's written in Hogwarts: a History. Haven't you even cracked open your textbooks? Really, now…" it looked like she was about to continue her tirade, when, thankfully, the train compartment door burst open again.  
Harry and Ron sighed in relief in perfect unison.  
Then Harry stiffened.  
Dudley stepped in, nervous and quiet, and sat.  
Harry stayed stiff.  
Ron shot Harry a glance.  
Hermione stopped talking and looked curiously at Dudley.  
"Hi-" Dudley started, then stopped.  
"I thought you'd be with Draco." Harry spat icily.  
"I, uh…"  
Ron joined Harry in delivering his icy stare. Hermione remained curious.  
"Well," Dudley bumbled on, "he said you were famous."  
Harry's look didn't warm, but some of the hatred shifted to confusion.  
"And he said I might… He said he might like me if I were friends with you."  
Ron looked again to Harry, and Hermione joined him. Unfortunately, Harry seemed to have even less idea what to make of it than they did.  
"Besides," Dudely went on, "you had to buy me my wand at Ollivanders'. I guess that was okay."  
Ron gaped. Harry gaped. Hermione cleared her throat.  
"Right, uh, right. Um. This is my cousin, Dudley. Dudley, this is Ron, Hermione…"


	5. The Great Hall

Dudley wasn't surprised to be sorted into Slytherin. In fact he was kind of proud. Draco had nodded with approval, and Dudley eyed the nicely embroidered robes of the two boys flanking Draco with envy and a drop of hope.  
But still, it was odd not to be around anyone he knew.  
Even if Harry was a wanker, he hand't been mean like Draco had.

"A muggleborn? A POOR muggleborn? And with no brain? What, filthy mudblood, do you even think you could do for the scion of house Malfoy?"

Dudley noticed the stares he was getting from the Slytherin table. No cheers, just stares as he sat.

"M-my cousin, he had wizard parents."  
"I wouldn't care if your cousin was Harry bleeding Potter."  
Dudley had been confused.  
"He is Harry Potter."  
Draco had stopped to consider this.

"The deal's still on, fatty." Dudley winced as Draco patted his back.  
"Get me some FaceTime with Potter, and maybe I'll let myself be seen with you."  
Dudley nodded silently. He turned as Draco walked past to the populated end of the table. He moved to get up, and was sat down hard by two pairs of meaty hands.  
"The boss says he's not talking to you yet, mudblood."  
Crabbe and Goyle stared.  
Dudley looked down at his feet.  
The food was good, at least.


	6. The Dungeon

Dudley had never heard a voice as terrifying as Severus Snape's.  
"Longbottom, Dursley, with me after class."  
Double potions with Gryffindor would have been bad enough with the hexes, if Dudley hadn't been assigned the only potions partner who knew less than he did.  
Snape was supposed to exercise extreme favoritism toward Slytherin as well, but he'd been as cold to Dudley as the rest of the house. After class, Neville was too scared to say a single word. Dudley made a show like he'd punch Neville, which Blaise Zabini smiled at, but Dudley quickly stopped after catching Harry's eye.  
Hogwarts was so confusing.  
"Mister Longbottom. I can appreciate Mister Dursley's unfamiliarity with the subtlety of newt's eyes, but the scion of a so-called noble house should know better. Ten points from Gryffindor. You are dismissed."  
Neville disappeared with unearthly speed and agility, or so it seemed until a half dozen beakers shattered on the floor in his wake.  
"Mister Dursley." Snape waved his hand and the beakers began to repair themselves. "You obviously require a great deal of additional assistance. Take this." Snape handed Dudley an old, battered copy of 'Moste Potente Potions.'  
"If your performance does not improve by the next week, I will be sending you on detention. With Longbottom."  
Dudley shuddered.  
"Dismissed."  
Dudley exited the dungeon faster than he thought possible. Finding himself in an empty hallway, he cracked open the cover of the worn textbook.  
"Property of the half-blood prince."  
And for what may have been the first time in his life, Dudley experienced curiosity.


	7. The Hospital Wing

Harry had thought he'd been awakened for the final time in this last stay with Madame Pomfrey of the year.  
He didn't expect to see Neville, and he had expected even less to see Dudley.  
"We came to apologize." Dudley started.  
"You were doing something brave and right, and we shouldn't have tried to stop you." Neville added.  
"But at least Neville was on your side. I was just trying to be friends with Draco, and I ended up being horrible to you. I shouldn't have tried to jinx you during the quidditch match, and I shouldn't have lied to you about Professor Quirrel." Dudley hung his head.  
"But you were right about Snape." Harry admitted.  
"And I guess Slytherin is still going to win the house cup, so that's all right." Dudley consoled himself, and immediately regretted it on seeing the response on their faces.  
He regretted it even more when he was proven completely wrong.


	8. The Meat Pie

"I've had my father arrange for some summer lessons. I could invite you, help you catch up and make some real friends," Malfoy sneered.  
Dudley didn't even look at him. Tracey Davis snorted.  
"…IF you can get Potter to come."  
Dudley finished his meat pie. Licked his fingers. Wiped his hands. If it was a school yard power play… Dudley had magic too. The professors were watching, including Snape. Dudley knew this game. He ate another entire meat pie and listened to Crabbe salivate with jealousy before responding. Dudley turned around slowly, and…  
"Piss off, Draco." Dudley stared him straight in the eye.

"That was pretty cool. Malfoy is kind of a jerk." Tracey rambled. "Still, that platinum blonde hair is pretty dreamy!"  
Dudley nodded along absently. He hoped he'd done the right thing… "Wait, what?"


	9. The Memory

"Piss off, Draco."  
Years later, that thought would come to him as he cast aside dementors with a brilliant silver boa constrictor.  
A powerful and wild symbol of Slytherin. Of power and victory and ambition.  
A beast raised in captivity.  
Set free after so long.  
Set free by Harry Potter.


End file.
